By Jenelle Hoyt, LCPC
There is power in your ideas and what you envision for yourself. Say it with me out loud. "There is power in my ideas and what I envision for myself!" Say it one more time. Louder. "THERE IS POWER IN MY IDEAS AND WHAT I ENVISION FOR MYSELF!" How did that feel? Did it feel encouraging and natural? Or did it feel uncomfortable, almost wrong to say?
If the above phrase felt uncomfortable to say out loud even in a room full of people, you, MY FRIEND, maybe holding yourself back. Keep reading to find the top 3 ways that you can get out of your own way to achieve your fullest potential.
Have you ever wanted something so badly that you can see yourself there? You can taste it, feel it and breathe it. All the good emotions come forward when you think about this idea. You get sick to your stomach when it has not happened for you yet and doubt yourself more and more with each day that passes by. This want could be anything. Inventing something or starting a business. A healthy relationship. Traveling the world. Saving a community.... You absolutely know that you are capable of doing it. You have what it takes. But something is standing in your way. It could be finances, a credential, transportation, unsupportive people or even your own mental blocks. All of these can be overcome with the following steps.
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT
Remember that this is your life. You are the master of it and the only person that has to deal with you for the rest of your life. You are your best friend. So take time, to really sit with yourself and determine what it is that you want. It is not about what society wants, what your partner wants or even what your parents want. What will make you happy? What will YOU be able to live with? When you are at age108 and ready to take your last breath, you look back on your life, what will you have wanted to accomplish?
Need help deciding what this is? Take a interest/career inventory. You will answer a few questions to determine what interests you and what you are passionate about.
You can also talk with people you have known for a long time about what brought you joy as a child. We are still that same person. Before the conditioning took place, what did you find joy and peace in? What made you feel successful and proud?
2. TRY NEW THINGS
Take that class, DIY that project, go to that event. You will never know what you are capable of until you try. You may find that what you really want is right outside of your comfort zone.
The key to this is not being rigid in your thinking. Most people claim to be open-minded but get offended and defensive when someone has a difference of opinion than them. And of course, if you were in a job interview and the interviewer asked anyone if they are open-minded, I bet you 99.99% of people would say Yes. But, what does it really take in order to be open minded. It takes recognizing that we are all just a tiny grain of sand on a very large beach. Our opinions and experiences, while important, are relatively small compared to the grand scheme of things. You may not always know best. Ask questions, practice humility, say "YES" and "Tell me more" more often.
3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
There are people in our life that we would not trade for anything in this world. On the contrary, there are people that we would trade for whatever else we could get our hands on (lol). BOTH have the potential to become a barrier between where you are now and where you truly want to be. One more intentionally than the other or so it feels. It is almost a guarantee that people are going to come along and put a wedge between you and your goals. They may tell you that it is not the way we do things. They may put their fears about the idea onto you. Worse, they may call you names for having the audacity of coming up with an idea that their small brains couldn't even fathom (yes, that one was personal for me). Recognize, even though you love them, respect them and want their approval, these are not the people that you share your ideas with.
As you continue to go after your idea/goal, you will meet people along the way who will be the support system you need to get through. They will be excited, they will encourage you to go for it, they may even give you some tools or connect you with other people that you need to get started.
Struggling to get started? Find a mentor in your field at school, at work or at church. Or even consider hiring a life coach or therapist who can further assist you with identifying any blockages that may be getting in your way.
You can find a licensed therapist using telehealth services such as Betterhelp or TalkSpace if you feel that you are suffering with issues related to mental health. You can also go through your insurance company to find one in your area.
Remember that your ideal self is achievable and just as attracted to you as you are to them. Go for it!
Jenelle is an award winning counselor and life coach that works with individuals of all ages who aim to achieve financial and emotional stability by healing mental and emotional blockages. Schedule your 15 minute consultation here.
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